People always say,
"Failure is a step to success."
"If you give up, it means you fail completely."
"Never stop trying, stand back up and go for it again."
"One day you will reach it through sheer hard work & effort."
"Everyone has their each and own talents. Don't compare yourself to others."
Yet, the end result is I may never be successful.
All these quotes, advices and such encouraging statement revolves around me yet, it's not a true fact to me.
No matter how hard I work, I just wont get it.
Yesh, I'm a competitive person. It's good at times but yet I regret to be one too at times.
It demotivates me a lot and I fall into superb,negative depression state once I fail even after trying so hard.
It's not easy to stand back up.
Look, I worked hard and poured all my heart, effort into my work. Yet, my friend who is so-called "worried and assumes will fail also lazes around nearly the whole day, each day" produces a work so much better than mine, receives great praises and compliments.
I feel damn .... wrong. One might be my close friend, yet they do hurt me in such a way.
Me (lots of effort) = bad result // Friend (Minimal effort) = AWESOME result.
That is just so wrong and unfair.
It happens not once, but many times over few years already.
I have seen the work when compared to mine on whatever mistake I have got, inside the work itself have SAME mistakes to mine yet the work is not wrong but mine is wrong, so equals not good result??
This is so upsetting. I can feel the hatred in me towards my friends at times. It's hard to control it and it's hard to be myself again. I don't like this part of me neither when it happens.
Sigh.
Those wonderful statements as mentioned right at the beginning, is just like a fairytale. Or only for the minority who receives such miracles.
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